To Love or Not to Love
by thatredheadedwitch
Summary: Lily has always hated James. Ever since he first spoke on the train to Hogwarts first year. But something in her changes in fifth year. She tries to deny it and succeeds somewhat for two years, but what will happen when she and James are chosen to be the Heads of Hogwarts? Lily and James figure things out in their naive world consisting of magic in more ways than one in this tale.
1. Prolougue

Lily Evans was like any other girl at school.

Lily kept up with her schoolwork. She hung out with her friends, She wrote her parents and cheered for the quidditch team. She read books and comforted her friends when they were upset. She wrote in her diary and

But then again she was completely different.

Lily didn't giggle when Sirius Black and James Potter walked by. She didn't swoon when they took off their jerseys after a quidditch match. And she most definitely did **not **say yes to the many, many, many offers James gave her to go on a date.

At least she tried not to. She claimed they were just friends.

But he became harder and harder to keep saying no to when they both got the letter saying that they had been chosen as a Head Boy or Girl for Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. This meant they would be sharing a Heads' suite and spending a lot more time together than they already did.

But let's start a little earlier and work our way up from there.

**Author's Note: **I'll have the first chapter up by the end of the week, hopefully! And don't worry, they'll be much longer than this.  
_Sneak Peak: _It's fifth year and Lily starts off the day by arguing with Snape. Again. Luckily, a certain Gryffindor chaser is there to help!


	2. Chapter One

"Expectation is the root of all heartache."

William Shakespeare

Lily was fed up. She and Snape had been fighting all day, and she was tired of arguing with him in the May heat.

"For the last time, Severus, I'm not joining your little cult!" Lily yelled as she sat down in the shade of a tree by the lake.

Snape sat down next to her. "Lily, the Dark Lord would provide you safety! Do you know how hard it was to convince him that you were talented enough to even be considered?"

Lily glared at her friend. "I'm so _sorry_ that your best friend doesn't approve of my kind!"

Snape groaned. "Come on, Lily, you know it's not like that!

"Then what is it like? You spend all of your free time with Mulciber and that crowd when you know you aren't like them!"

"What do you mean I'm not like them? I can be whoever I want to be, Lily, and a filthy mudblood like you isn't going to stop me!"

Lily stood, enraged, and blinked back tears. "Well if that's what you think of me, then why are you here right now?" She turned on her heel to walk toward the castle, but was stopped by a cold hand locking around her wrist.

"Lily you no I didn't mean it like that." He said, trying to fix it.

Lily faced away from him still. "Let go of my hand, Severus."

"Please listen to me!" His grip got tighter.

"Let go of my hand!" She struggled against his grip.

Suddenly a warm gentle one replaced the cold death grip as Snape was pushed away from her. Lily turned around to find James, clad in his quidditch jersey and fresh from practice, glaring at the Slytherin with a look of utter distaste.

"If you ever touch her again, you will regret it." He threatened Snape.

Snape glared back at James and opened his mouth to say something more, but thought better of it and ran off towards the castle.

James immediately turned to Lily, not glaring anymore but having a worried countenance. "Are you alright? What did he do?"

Lily was still shocked from what just happened but a silent tear slipped past. "He called me a… a mudblood."

James growled under his breath. "And I suppose you don't want me to hurt your friend?"

Lily shook her head. "No, don't hurt him. But he's not my friend anymore, I don't think." As she said this, more tears slipped down her cheeks and James gave up on trying to wipe them away.

James pushed her hair out of her face. "Come with me, okay?"

Lily nodded and James led her through a door Lily didn't recall ever seeing before. It was a small room much like the Gryffindor common room, except it had just a small fire and a couch.

James led Lily to the couch and sat down next to her. "Why don't you tell me exactly what happened, starting from the beginning."

So Lily told him everything, starting from her meeting Snape in the park and ending with "Let go of my hand!" Tear, smiles, laughs, and sobs accompanied the story, but James listened throughout the whole thing and gave her comfort when she finished.

By the end of the story, Lily was lying on the couch with her head in James' lap. "But I guess I knew it couldn't go on too much longer." She said sadly before yawning.

James smiled and pushed her hair out of her face. "It's past eleven, you should probably be getting to bed."

Lily's eyes widened. "Already? Merlin, it's past curfew! We'll never get back before Peeves or Filch caught us. And then they'll give me a detention or expel me or take away my prefect badge!" She groaned.

James chuckled. "Relax, Lily, Just stay here for a night. You can have the couch if you want, I'll sleep on the floor."

Lily shook her head, looking up at him from his lap although her eyelids were drooping. "No, stay. Please? Don't go. "

James smiled. "All right, I won't, don't worry. But you need to get to sleep."

Lily smiled, satisfied, and nodded, closing her eyelids once more and falling asleep quickly.

James smiled at the sleeping Lily. They had been tolerating one another or a few months now, and they might be considered friends even.

James smiled more, knowing they had grown closer tonight. He finally leaned back on the armrest, careful not to disturb Lily, and fell asleep as well after setting his glasses down.

The next day, Lily woke up early as always, completely disoriented. She noticed that her pillow was actually a lap and the previous night came rushing back to her. She sat up quickly and shook James awake. "James, get up."

James groaned but opened his eyes. "Lily?" He smiled and sat up straight, putting his glasses on. "Morning."

Lily stood and checked the watch on James' wrist. "We're late for breakfast, James!"

James stood and yawned. "I'm always late for breakfast."

Lily rolled her eyes. "Come on, Potter." She grabbed his hand and pulled him down to the Great Hall.

Lily's friends stared as they rushed in late together, very unlike Lily to be late for anything or to be with James so early in the morning.

James' friends stared as well; James and Lily were holding hands. _Holding hands._ The previous afternoon Sirius had been teasing James about how Lily would never touch him in a million years.

Lily blushed and dropped James' hand quickly when she saw Sirius' jaw drop.

She turned to face James. "Thanks for being there for me last night. I really appreciate it." She smiled and went to sit with her friends.

James sat down next to Sirius, dazed. Lily had just held his hand and complimented him all within five minutes. He barely noticed Sirius, Remus, and Peter bombarding him with questions about what had happened the previous night.

Lily was faced with the same situation with her own friends, though she quickly pushed away the idea that she might like James as more than a friend. She turned to answer Mary MacDonald's questions and tried to keep her thought from drifting back to James.

That day in class, the Marauders were still asking James questions through an enchanted piece of parchment.

Sirius: So did you shag her?

Remus: Padfoot!

James: No, I didn't shag her. We had a civilized conversation in the ROR and fell asleep.

Peter: You missed dinner so I made you a plate. But you didn't come back so I ate it. Sorry.

Sirius: Could you not focus on food for one minute, Wormtail?

James: Thank you, Wormy. Sirius, I didn't kiss her, ask her out, shag her, or anything else your twisted mind may come up with. We talked, and that's all.

Sirius: But you slept with her, no?

Remus: Padfoot, lay off!

James: We _slept_! As in ZZZzzzzzZZZzzzzzZZZ

Peter: Speaking of which does anyone want to skip Potions to take a nap or is it just me?

Sirius: Well if he isn't talking then yes, sleep is nice. Potions is bad. Moony, you'll take notes for us, right?

Remus: I am not taking your notes and you are not copying my homework either!

Sirius: You ruin everything.

The conversation the girls had on a similar piece of parchment resembled the boys'.

Mary: So Lily…

Lily: So Mary…

Mary: Is it true you shagged James Potter?!

Marlene: Why in the world would she do that? Sirius is much hotter.

Mary: I'm rolling my eyes, Mar.

Lily: I didn't shag James Potter, for the last time!

Then Alice Prewett decided to chip in.

Alice: Then why were you away all night only to come down to breakfast, late I might add, holding James' hand and looking very disheveled?

Lily: I slept with him!

Marlene: Aha!

Mary: I knew it I knew it I knew it!

Lily: No, I mean we slept, on a couch, after talking.

Marlene: Oh, come on, Lily, you obviously like him!

Lily: No I don't!

Mary: Yes you do, you're staring at him right now!

Lily: Am not!

Alice: Guys, you might want to pay attention now, Flitwick is starting to talk about OWLs.

For the rest of the day, Lily and James avoided the questions from their friends and Lily avoided Snape. She also turned in early, but James didn't have that leisure because of the full moon.

**Author's Note: **Well, here's the first chapter. Please read and review, because if you do I'll write faster! What happens to the boys during the full moon? Do Lily and James avoid each other or become closer? Suggestions, questions, comments, compliments, all go in that big box down below that's calling your name!


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